I’ve been feeling a little down because of the rain, but I decided to make a mix-tape to feel better. And now I’ve decided to share it with you, so enjoy.

Part One

1. Venus Stop the Train - Wilco
2. These Days - Nico
3. Wish He Was You - Best Coast
4. Just Like Honey - The Jesus and Mary Chain
5. Stephanie Says - The Velvet Underground
6. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right - Bob Dylan
7. Holly, Ontario - Said the Whale
8. You Should Be At Home Here - Carissa’s Weird
9. Damage - Yo La Tengo
10. Flume (Daytrotter Session) - Bon Iver

Part Two

1. Deep Blue Sea - Grizzly Bear
2. Cold Wind - Arcade Fire
3. Good Feeling - Violent Femmes
4. Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
5. Sleepwalking - Modest Mouse
6. Say - Cat Power
7. New York, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down - LCD Soundsystem
8. Reflections After Jane - The Clientele
9. A Case of You - Joni Mitchell
10. Passenger Seat - Death Cab For Cutie

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10. Fake Plastic Trees

If I could be who you wanted, if I could be who you wanted, all the time, all the time

I’ll be honest and admit that The Bends never really appealed to me as much as all the Radiohead albums after it, but this song always stood out to me. It’s sentimental and sort of has a distinctly nineties romance to it, and it seems like it would be really fantastic live. Plus, it’s got one of Thom’s most convincingly emotional vocal performances.

9. Talk Show Host

I’ll be waiting, with a gun and a pack of sandwiches and nothing, nothing, nothing

This is only a B-side, but what a B-side it is. Its slightly off-kilter drum beat, cheeky lyrics and deceptively simple guitar part have made it a fan favorite, and for good reason. Why they decided not to bump this one up to A-side status is beyond me, because it’s really one of their best songs, even if it’s one of their most simple. It’s fucking awesome live, too.

8. Pyramid Song

And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat, there was nothing to fear, nothing to doubt

With rich imagery in its Siddhartha-inspired lyrics and an impossible-to-tap-your-foot-to beat from the honorable Phil Selway, Pyramid Song is another widely accepted fan favorite. To those who think of Amnesiac as little more than Kid A’s sloppy seconds, look no further than this dreamy ballad; it immerses its listener in true Radiohead style.

7. Lucky

It’s gonna be a glorious day, I feel my luck could change

Like Airbag and Killer Cars before it, Lucky touches on Thom Yorke’s fear of automobiles while also proving to be one of the most compelling tracks on OK Computer. Another slow cut, it slowly trudges along into an alien chorus that sees Thom shouting that he’s our superhero. And goddamn it, I believe him.

6. There There

Just ‘cause you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s theeeeere

This song live is profoundly awesome. Johnny puts down his guitar and starts playing this big tribal drum along with Phil while Colin sort of looms in the background with his load-bearing bass-line. Hail to the Thief always struck me as an album about an ineffable kind of confusion; where every other album has stories about people who know how they feel and hate/love/fight it, HTTT’s songs are about people who have no clue what’s going on. And this song’s quietly epic, lost-in-the-forest dynamic makes for a pretty compelling epicentre.

5. All I Need

I am an animal, trapped in your hot car; I am all the days that you choose to ignore

This song doesn’t even let you know it’s going to become one of your favorites until the twentieth time you play it and you wait for the whole think to explode into a million fireworks of heart-wrenching longing and oh God it’s coming and there it is and it’s glorious. Basically this song is like sonic sex, the kind that has you missing the person you’re with even though their skin is pressed against yours. Or something. Anyway, it’s a beautiful song, and unrequited love can be a hard topic to cover without being repetitive, or sappy. The best song on In Rainbows, I say.

4. A Wolf at the Door

Help me, call the doctor, put me inside, put me inside put me inside, put me inside put me inside

This is a song in which Thom Yorke raps. Need I say more?

3. True Love Waits

I’m not living, I’m just killing time; your tiny hands, your crazy kitten smile

And proving a perfect example of the emotional range of Radiohead and its participants, True Love Waits is the closest anyone is ever going to get to hearing a truly personal love song performed acoustically by the man they call Thom Yorke. Sure, the lyrics involve references to cross-dressing and feet-washing, but that’s what love is, right? Personally, I just love the vocal performance here, and it might be my favorite ever from the band. If they were ever to record the song in studio, I think I might faint, and I know a thousand pre-fainted Radiohead fans would doubtlessly break my fall.

2. Motion Picture Soundtrack

I will see you in the next life

This is basically one of my top funeral songs. It’s beautiful in the extraterrestrial outsider-music kind of way that Radiohead does best, and it’s unashamedly poetic. I mean, if a song generates enough emotion that even the use of chimes near the end doesn’t affect its impact, you know it’s something special. For as weird, unexpected, and emotionally distant an album as Kid A to end with a song like this is probably one of the most interesting choices the band ever made, and I stand by it proudly.

1. No Surprises

This is my final fit, my final bellyache with no alarms and no surprises

To me, No Surprises encompasses what Radiohead is to me. It’s a lullaby tenderly sung about a man who has simply given up on the world he lives in without much of a fuss. More than any other song on OK Computer, this one reflects the quintessentially late-ninties theme of isolation and technology/consumerism as a means of that isolation. Not to mention it’s just a flat-out beautiful song, lyrically and sonically. This is my personal favorite Radiohead song, and I feel that it is also “the” Radiohead song, for all intents and purposes.

Listen here.

1. I’ve Just Seen a Face - The Beatles

She’s just the girl for me, and I want all the world to see we’ve met

This song is a little self-explanatory. Back before I even met you, I listened to The Beatles constantly. I would hum the songs to myself instead of play football at lunch in elementary school. Before my music taste became the huge, pretentious butterfly it is now, it was tightly encased in a Beatles cocoon. I could choose from any number of Beatles songs, honestly, but this one fits really well, and I’m sure I hummed it in the hallways on multiple occasions.

2. Wonderwall - Oasis

Because maybeeeee you’re gonna be the one that saves meeeeee

Honestly, I don’t like this song very much. I don’t think you do, either. The singer is pretty nasally and the lyrics are both cliché and incomprehensible. I remember, though, that in Grade 9, before my crush on you was the huge news it would eventually become, I would play Rock Band primarily with Chris and Dylan. This song never reminded me of you until Chris said, “oh, it’s Max’s song.” Now this song always reminds me of you, so yeah.

3. What Ever Happened? - The Strokes

I said please don’t make this harder, no I won’t yet

The Strokes were one of the first bands I ever liked that fall into the same category as most of my music today. I remember watching Marie Antoinette in Socials class, and finding out that you liked this song as much as I did. Although I distinctly recall you thinking the lyric was “I want to be besotted, she want to be admired” when I always heard it as “beside her.”

4. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths

And in the darkened underpass I though, oh God my chance has come at last

This is one of several songs along the way that’s hard to place. I couldn’t tell you the first time I ever actually listened to this song, but I know that it’s reminded me of you since then. At the time, I’m sure almost every song like this did, but I still like this song now and it still makes me think about you.

5. True Love Waits - Thom Yorke

And true love waits, in haunted attics; And true love lives in lollipops and crisps

I would probably have a lot of trouble picking the number one song that describes the entirety of Grade 9, at least the part with you in it. This, however, would definitely be in the running. More than just reminding me of you, this song convinced me it was about you, although the lyrics are abstract enough to fit anyone. Maybe it’s just the sound, or the fact that it’s only Thom Yorke singing it, or the desperation in his voice. This one, however, is definitely important.

6. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Wait, they don’t love you like I love you

This one really speaks for itself. Grade 9 summer, on the beach, writing in my journal and listening to this song. That was my life.

7. Do Me a Favour - Arctic Monkeys

Do me a favour, and tell me to go away

If I were to go back in time, I would probably remember more fully why this song in particular is related to us. A lot of it is much more bitter than feelings I’ve had about you, although I did tend to overreact about these kinds of things. The Arctic Monkeys was our band in my head, though, and to have one of their songs turned into a “now we don’t like each other because we can never truly be friends” kind of song was always a little weird to me. It’s a great song, though.

8. C’mere - Interpol

It should be me, it should be me

If True Love Waits perfectly encompasses you in my head in Grade 9, C’mere does so for Grade 10. I still feel sad when I listen to this song, even though I know that things turn out well. I guess I just stored so much sadness and longing and angst into this one little piece of music that I just associate it with melancholy. Those lyrics, though… I really can’t understate just how many times I listened to this song.

9. Electro-Shock Blues - Eels

Another day, another day, not another day

This is one of the saddest songs ever written, and in context it portrays me at the height of the depression I was feeling in Grade 10. I usually like to skip over this part, but if I have to tell the whole story, I have to tell this, too. It does reference suicide in a big way, which I would never actually do, but I’m sure I thought of it a lot at that point. I was just lost

10. Ceremony - New Order

Heaven knows it’s got to be this time

This is a fantastic, fantastic song. I’m sure it was my absolute favorite for at least a few months. I love the way it sounds, I love the story behind it, I love the lyrics, and now I love that you like it as much as I do. This one reminded me of you before I knew you liked it, though; the lyrics always seemed to be vaguely referencing you. Of course, this was the case with a lot of songs, so yeah.

11. You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb - Spoon

Oh, life could be so fair, let it go on and on

I don’t exactly recall at what point this song became a song about you, but I remember telling you that it reminded me of you during one of our friendly patches. I guess it was subtle enough to not be an obvious “I love you” plea, although I guess it wouldn’t have mattered. I remember thinking about you when I saw this song live, even though I was with Sonia. But the Sonia part comes later.

12. Will is My Friend - Devendra Banhart

This is the water in which we wade

You’ve seen the particularly embarrassing journal that includes mention of this song, so I guess there’s no need to explain further. This song is much more of a sonic reminder of you than a lyrical one.

13. Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Have I found you, flightless bird; jealous, weeping

Same as the previous song. This one is also pretty lyrically unrelated, although I always thought it would be a nice song to dance to. I’ll have to give that a try, it’s only fair to my 15-year old self. Anyway, both songs are great, so it forgives the embarrassing nature under which they’re included on the list.

14. Modern Romance - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Well I was wrong, it never lasts, this is no, there is no modern romance

This is still one of my favorite songs. It’s probably the best song to describe a period around the start of Grade 11 where I had pretty much accepted the fact that you and I would never be together. I guess you could call it a mourning period; my crush on you had been raised from the ground up for two years, and I finally had to cut it down. I don’t believe that I ever fully did, but this song definitely made me believe so anyways. (The song ends at 3:10, the rest is silence so skip ahead.)

15. Here - Pavement

Am I the only one who laughs, at your jokes when they are so bad, and your jokes are always bad

Just because I’d decided to move on with my life didn’t mean that songs couldn’t still remind me of you. Pavement is the precursor to a huge phase of musical discovery that I went through about a year ago, and it always reminds me of me carrying you along with me into a new life where you couldn’t exist, and I couldn’t keep you around. As with most Pavement songs, it’s emotionally loaded, and I still love it to bits.

16. The New - Interpol

I can’t pretend I don’t need to defend some part of me from you

The conditions under which this became a song about you are somewhat fuzzy, but I do have a very specific memory of listening to it in the halls in Grade 11 and telling myself not to think about you. It’s a spectacular song, so I’m glad I get to add it to the playlist, even if it doesn’t remind me of you anymore.

17. Skinny Love - Bon Iver 

And at the end of all your lines; Who will love you, who will fight?

This song is an immediate predecessor to my relationship with Sonia. At the time, I was juggling feelings for Emma, feelings for Sonia, and hidden feelings for you. This song was yours, it’s still yours, and I still think it’s a pretty deep expression on Justin Vernon’s part. That high note near the end is so beautiful, and for some reason I’ve always wanted to perform this song in front of people. Maybe I’ll get to someday.

18. Modern Girl - Sleater-Kinney

My baby loves me, I’m so happy

This is one of my favorite songs, and it applies to you for so many reasons. The first time I ever heard it was early into my relationship with Sonia, and she had songs but this song was always you. The vocal performance is by Carrie Brownstein, typically the band’s background singer, and it’s passionate like nobody’s business. The lyrics are straightforward, but they’re thickly coated in an ironic, almost bitter delivery, and the line “my whole life was like a picture of a sunny day” always gets me thinking what exactly she means when she sings it so strongly. I guess whenever I think of this song, I think of myself singing it while I’m with Sonia, and the line “my baby loves me, I’m so angry” always fits. Probably in the Top 5 most important songs on this list (list within a list).

19. You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you, been around so long so why can’t you see

I sang this song so many fucking times that it became pretty impossible to deny that it was a song about my love for you. I just remember being on stage singing it and knowing that you were in the audience, and I felt pretty naked. I mean, this is me singing the song that’s clearly about you in front of you. I don’t think I tried to turn this into a song about Sonia even once, and I probably would have failed anyways. I just hope having a Taylor Swift song on my playlist doesn’t lose me any hipster points…

 20. Save Ginny Weasley From Dean Thomas - Harry and the Potters

It was like my insides were dancing a conga line, get on the line and we’ll have a good time

This is another while-I-was-dating-Sonia song. I mean, how could it not remind me of you? It’s dorky, it’s about Harry and Ginny, and I love it despite myself. This was probably around the time that I read all the books front to back, which must have been about two weeks before Mark’s party. The plot thickens.

21. Lover’s Spit - Broken Social Scene

They listen to teeth to learn how to quit; tied to a night they never met

Broken Social Scene is an amazing band, and this is my absolute favorite song by them. It’s a slow, dreamy crawl, a long car ride late at night, and it made me think of you when I knew I shouldn’t have been. This is one of a few songs that kept me going through August and September of this year, but it’s reminded me of you for much longer so I put it earlier on the list.

22. Still I Long For Your Kiss - Lucinda Williams

The days go by, but they don’t seem the same

This is a great song, a gritty karaoke-bar ballad to a lost lover, and I don’t think that the lyrics apply perfectly but I certainly convinced myself so during what must have been the strangest summer of my life. I was finally accepting that I loved you, and I was still dating Sonia and you were still dating Dylan and I listened to this song constantly and went crazy. Later on, I pictured Sonia singing it to me, and it made me sad. It’s a really fantastic song, even if it doesn’t fit with most of the others here. I call it my post-Mark’s party jam.

23. Idaho - Josh Ritter

I hear her howling down below, Idaho, Idaho

I’m so glad you like Josh Ritter. This song reminds me of you because I showed it to you and you loved it. I could make my entire playlist of songs like that, but this one feels relevant for some reason.

24. Everyday - Buddy Holly

Come what may, do you ever long for true love from me?

This is a charming little song that I love and it always made me think of you, although I listened to it too much last month. Whenever it seemed like you were going to end up with me, I would play it on my iPod and stroll down the street happily. Eventually I got to play it knowing that I would never have to go back to playing a song like #9. It’s really a sweet little song, and I love 50’s music more than most people realize.

25. She’s a Jar - Wilco

A sleepy kisser, a pretty war, with feelings hid she begs me not to miss her

This song, unlike most on this album, pertains to a specific moment in time. After your first day in the hospital, when I finally left at about 5, I walked much further than I needed to, past what must have been at least three bus stops. I guess I just needed time to think, and I was honestly a little worried. I mean, you were in the hospital, right? I listened to some music, and this song came on, and for some reason it just fit perfectly. I absolutely adore Wilco and Jeff Tweedy is a personal hero of mine; I absolutely love his approach to love and intimacy. And even if deep down, this song is about a failing marriage or an abusive relationship or something like that, I can’t help but get caught up in the metaphors. This song is the song for the guy who goes to visit someone else’s girlfriend in the hospital for six hours and takes a windy walk home. It’ll probably never be about anything other than that, for me.

26. I Want To - Best Coast

I want you so much, and I miss you so much

This song snuck up on me. It’s extremely catchy and infectiously easy to listen to, and only after the fact do I realize how often I would play this song while talking to you online. Now I can’t help but think of that whenever I listen to it, which admittedly is pretty often. It’s not exactly lyrically deep or anything, it’s just a girl getting her feelings out in an unashamedly cliché fashion. I guess that’s a pretty relatable sentiment.

27. Don’t Dream It’s Over - Crowded House

Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over

Unlike most of the songs on this list, this one isn’t very good. I saw it in Adventureland and I thought about watching fireworks with you and I felt pretty good that night, so on the list it goes.

28. Take Care - Beach House

I’ll take care of you, if you ask me to, in a year or two

I love Beach House, and you might too so if you like this one definitely dig deeper. This song reminds me of you for pretty obvious reasons, I guess. I love the atmosphere, and the surprisingly mature lyric. I always sort of felt this way, but it’s only recently that I’ve grown up enough to feel like I actually could be that person for you, rather than just the kid who had the biggest crush in the universe.

29. Lasso - Phoenix

Forever is a long long time when you’ve lost your way

This song reminds me of you the same way that it probably reminds you of me. Most Phoenix songs tend to, but this one especially. I guess it’s just the mood of it, or something. Maybe the lyrics. It just sounds happy-go-lucky, maybe not innocent but certainly as close as we could get.

30. Damage - Yo La Tengo

I used to think about you all the time, I would think about you all the time; now it just feels strange, there you are

Lyrically, this song is perfect. The one I quoted is the one that always stuck out to me, and it made me listen to this song pretty endlessly. It also got me into Yo La Tengo in general, which is a happy coincidence. If I split the story into four parts, first being Grade 9 (True Love Waits), second being Grade 10 (C’mere), third being Grade 11 (Still I Long For Your Kiss), this one describes the part that’s ongoing. Just the calm, sort of stunned feeling that the song gives me is the same one I have when I realize that we’re together. Which is lame, I’m aware.

31. The Only Exception - Paramore

I’ve got a tight grip on reality but I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here

This is not a very good song at all. But I heard it on the radio and for some reason it burrowed its way into my subconscious and now I really like it, even though I’m well aware how bad it is. I tried to deny at first how much this one made me think of you, because about a month ago I tried the whole “I’m going to forget about her” angle and this damn song kept coming back and I’d think “yeah, no.” Damn it, Paramore. Anyway, this is probably a bad end to the playlist, but the cheesiness and hopeless infatuation in this song is pretty much the essence of the way I feel about you, and the way I have since Track 1.